Circumcision: To cut, or not to cut?

this is a post I've been wanting to discuss for quite some time, but wasn't sure what angle I wanted to go at.  I decided not to discuss any personal opinions of my family's or my husband's family.  I will discuss my thoughts, my husbands, and discuss the things I've learned, and ultimately how our decision was made.
So first off, I know this is a touchy subject, because I know it gets into religion, and personal hygiene, along with just talking about things that most aren't comfortable with..  But I am comfortable, and I feel like it needs to be discussed a lot more.

So let me make it known now, that my husband and I are both against circumcision, and I am quite aware that the rest of my blog is a little harsh and quite opinionated.  But this is something I feel passionate about, and not many people have the guts to be loud about it-so I'm not going to beat around the bush of any part of it.

So first just so we are all clear: What is circumcision?  It is the surgical removal of all or part of the foreskin on the penis...usually done shortly after a boy is born.  Parents who choose circumcision often do so based on religious beliefs, concerns about hygiene, or cultural or social reasons, such as the wish to have their son look like other men in the family.

So let me touch on each reason seperately.  First is religion...I can't really do or say much that would prevent anyone from going against their religious traditions, but I can say briefly, when it comes down to it, your son's salvation is not based on what has been done, or not done to his penis.  What matters is what you teach him in life about God, forgiveness, sin, and what's right and wrong.  God looks into your heart, and wether you've accepted him as your saviour or not.  Also, I'm going to tack in there that God created man in his own perfect image, so therefore your son is made exactly how he was supposed to be.  That's all I'm going to say about that. This religious part could turn very long and only turn people to get offensive and I am not looking for a religious argument at all.

Next is hygiene.  Many parents' first response to the question is "well you can keep his penis cleaner if it's circumsized."  I first want to say I've never heard of an uncut man who had a hard time keeping it clean.  It's as simple as pulling the skin back to wash.  Does it hold more bacteria?  I guess hypothetically it could, causing UTI's, but this is where a mother and father are to instill good personal hygiene in their son from an early age.  It's important to teach your son how to keep EVERY part of their body as clean as possible.  A boy should take a thorough shower EVERYDAY and if he has been playing especially hard, then twice a day.  Every boy should know that if he played hard, and is sweaty, then he is more likely to have sweat in areas such as his arm pits, his tooshie, his feet, and yes, his penis...and it is to be cleaned if it's dirty...doesn't matter if he JUST took a shower that morning.  Neglecting showers causes UTIs, other infections, and just plain smelliness.  I realise boys are not easy to keep clean.  Even as a wife, I have to tell my husband he smells and he needs another shower.  There's something in the male brain that doesn't care as much as females, but if you make them aware at a young age, they stay aware.  My dad says he's loved to be clean since he was a kid, mostly because he had a lot of sisters and they were clean, and as an adult, I've never seen my dad not shower twice a day, always change into clean clothes before dinner, never go to bed dirty, and my dad's a hard worker...he just puts the effort into being clean.  It's all about how you were taught as a kid.  So I don't believe hygiene should be used as a factor in this decision, unless you truely believe you are incapable of showing your son how to shower...but that is your job as a parent!

Next is social reasons.  I believe most people choose circumcision because they never even considered the alternative-to leave it alone.  It's what their parents chose, their friends chose, it was just what you did because of their thoughts and opinions.  I remember in highschool the girls would talk about how weird it would be to have sex with an uncut man...and how gross it would be.  And the boys would talk about how sex wouldn't feel as good for them if they hadn't been cut.  And looking back on this I see how FALSE and ridiculous all these assumptions are, since they were just assumed because everyone else assumed them.  There is no difference in sex for a girl wether its with a man who has been cut or not cut.  And I can tell you right now, if you seclude yourself to your husband only, you wont know any difference anyways.  And I have never met a man say "man, I just don't like sex, too bad my parents left this skin on my penis, I know I'd like it more had they cut it off"...men will always like sex, and if anything I'd imagine leaving the penis the way it was made would make it feel best, since it's natural and sex is the most natural thing you can do.  So parents, your child's sex life will never suffer no matter what your decision is, so please don't consider this in your decision making any more!  If you really want to consider your son's sex life...consider this-most believe a woman is the one that is lubricating during sex, but truth is, a males foreskin is what holds his natural lubricant.  A woman alone can not produce enough natural lubricant to last long enough for an entire sexual encounter to prevent chafing and soreness, a male's is required, and cutting his foreskin pretty much ruins all of that.  As for a child wanting to look like his father...after the age of 5, I don't think any boy really cares what his father looks like naked.

when I made the decision not to partake in this surgery for my son, none of these factors even came to mind, that's why I briefly covered those topics to get them out of the way.  The real reasons why I would never want this for my son are:
1. The foreskin is attached to the penis like a fingernail, I'm telling you right now, it's the worst pain you could put your infant through.  Thinking about my son making the rough journey into this world, all the scary faces, unfamiliar things, and then you put him on the surgery table [usually eagle strapped to a table; and over 50% of procedures are done without anesthesia] to put him in such a pain seems so wrong of me to do.  I just keep picturing his face-confused and in pain...I can't stomach that experience.  And not just during, but the weeks after...they are in pain, and then heaven forbid, something went wrong and it gets infected, you are the one that has to take care of it.
2. It is genital mutilation.  I shouldn't have to say more.  And the fact of the matter is, some one is touching your sons genitals in the process.  Going a little extreme would be to call this a molestation, but I do know that a stranger has his hands on his penis and at no time did the boy say he wanted any part of it and doesn't need it.  That was my biggest afflicition...it is what it is, no matter what you want to call it.
3. I don't have the right.  For parents to say they have the right to choose this for their son's makes me sick.  It is their body, and their choice, and they will have the option for this later in life.  It is irreversable...once it's gone, it's gone.  You wouldn't tattoo your baby, right?  well for the same reasons you wouldn't tattoo your baby, I wouldn't remove a healthy good working body part on my son.
4.  Death.  It is a fact that more boys die from complications of circumcision than they do from cancer of the penis that the circumcision MAY help prevent.  That right there shows you just how pointless the surgery is.
5. The baby tells you he doesn't want it done.  Babies have different cries for different things, a mother can tell by her baby's cry if he's sick, if he's tired, if he's hungry, and there is a definite cry for pain.  And there is no cry like the cry from a circumcised little boy.  They cry for weeks sometimes months, and most mother's dismiss it as them being hungry or grumpy.  It's ignored.  And I would never want that pang of guilt every time I heard that high pitched cry.
6. It interferes with breastfeeding.  It hurts for him to pee or even lay on his belly, causing a lot of problems when it comes to breastfeeding.  Statistics show that since it's harder for a circumcised baby to focus on breastfeeding, more of them are formula fed in the end, because the mom's give up.  And when you take away the breast milk, it makes it even harder for the baby to fight any infections and for the surgery to heal the way it should.  Not to mention, take away breastfeeding and you're taking away crucial bonding time between the son and mother.
7. It's not natural, and I'm pro-attachment parenting.  Women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time, and raising them naturally-breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, doing it how they've always done it.  Using your best tool you're born with-natural instinct.  And I personally believe circumcising your son goes against nature, goes against a mother's instinct, and goes against attachment parenting.
8.  How do I teach my son that it's what's on the inside that counts if I cut him to somehow make him 'better'.  I would feel hypocritical.  What my son chooses to do with his own body is one thing-piercings, tattoos, body altercations, or even a future circumcision, is his own choice, but until he's of age to make those choices for himself, I want to in still the message that he's beautiful to me, and there's nothing wrong with any part of him.

So, of course I'd never call a mom a bad mom if she made the decision to take part in the surgery for her son, but I hope that every mother does the research on the surgery they are paying for, before they just do it...Learn what you are taking part in nad make your own decision, not someone else's.

There are many sites and support groups for regretting parents and resentful victims of circumcision...I hope anyone who may be grouped into either of those can find the support your need.  I will later be posting links of some helpful sites, once I really check them out.  Hope I brought up some things that you hadn't thought about before!