Merry Christmas everyone! Yesterday was great...baby was spoiled before he's even here. We got a lot of awesome gifts for the little one.
So today I'm 14 weeks along. Now in every book, every website, and every doctor's office I'm considered to be in my second trimester...which in my opinion last week was that milestone, but none the less, I like the respect from everywhere. haha.
Tomorrow we have our 3 month check up, and I'm very excited. I'll post all about it tomorrow. I'm going to be going over some questions with my midwife about breastfeeding, sex during pregnancy, and some of my birth plan. So I'll be sharing what I learn and what not. =)
I'm feeling great this week, and I'm getting bigger. I'm pretty excited for this baby to get here already. I think I'm ready to start the nursery so this week I'm gong through our bedroom and rearranging things. I'll post pictures as it comes together!
This blog is to keep my memory fresh on my journey of being pregnant. It's also there to keep people updated on how we are doing, and to help anyone out there who might have some of the same struggles as me. I also want to reach out to all types of families and situations. I want to teach what I learn, and help moms everywhere!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Hospital Guest List & coming home.
I decided to write about this because this is something I've recently been struggling with. I've always been the farthest thing from modest or shy and I always imagined tons of people in the room with me when the baby is born. I wanted my sister, my mom, my cousin, my mother-in-law, my dad, and my step-dad, on top of my husband, my midwife, her assistant, and of course me. The more pregnant I get, the more ridiculous this all sounds. I've become a more secluded person, and when I imagine my dream birth now, I imagine just my husband and I...if I could do this without my midwife, I would. I imagine a little room, with candles everywhere, and the intimate moment of my husband and I bringing the little life into the world. But that's not realistic these days, so I've been putting thought into it. My one bit of advice for anyone out there like me-all your guests can sit in the waiting room! I think it's important to consider how you will feel in that moment, not how you feel now. It's hard for me, because I want to share that moment with everyone, but it's our natural instinct to want to birth alone. And I think those feelings start to develop during pregnancy. Most animals go to be alone in a safe place to birth their litters, and humans aren't much different. I think for me a big part of it is looking vulnerable infront of people I'm not willing to look vulnerable infront of. I think this is also nature speaking...most animals won't look vulnerable infront of anyone for fear of attack or someone spotting your weakness. This is a moment where you are exposed, you are stressed, you are scared, you are in pain, you are protective, and frankly, a little crazy. So it's important to consider who you are willing to have there with you. For me the first one I crossed off my list was someone very close to me...while she is one of my best friends and I'm very close with her, she tends to laugh at moments that I need seriousness, she makes a joke out of pretty much anything, and it's usually at the person's expense. And while I love that about her any other day, I am scared I'd flip out on her during birth and say something I might regret. So even though you love things about people right this second, consider your sensitivity on birthday. The next one I crossed off the list was my dad-he hates blood, and still thinks of me as his baby, and I'm not sure i really want to rock that boat. Plus, who wants their dad to seem them naked? I know I don't. Next was my step-dad. The reason I wanted him in the room was to balance my husband. My husband is very sympathetic and coaxing, I know he'll be there to rub me down, and tell me I'm doing great, and not to worry. And while I need that, at the same time, if I stop cooperating, or start to give up, I need that person that's gonna tell me to shut up and buck up...that's Monty for me. He was always the one at my ball games telling me to walk it off. But I decided I wanted to have both of my dad's in the waiting room where I'll be laboring a lot, so they will still be there to experience the day with me, and stretch out their support. After I eliminated those people, I eliminated everyone [like I said, I'd do this all myself if I could] But realistically I have settled on my husband and my mom, and his mom if she feels comfortable at the moment. My husband and my mom have been the ones my whole life who have seen me at my worst, seen me naked, and cleaned up my worst. Plus, who's the one you want most when you're sick? Mom. So she is definitely going to be the voice I need in the room. I invited my mother-in-law, because this moment is about Thomas too, and I figured she had 5 kids, so I'm sure she might know a trick or two. ;) But it's not a forced thing, she might feel uncomfortable seeing me in a way she never has, or she may feel out of place, so I'm leaving the decision ultimately up to her. But 3, plus me, plus my two doctors, seems like plenty to me! And who knows, I might get crazy and kick everyone out! haha. I think my advice is to leave your options open and to consider what you will want then, not now.
Another thing to consider, especially if you're considering a midwife-is your labor process. My midwife encourages a lot of natural ways to sooth labor, and to speed it up if we have to, including walking, swimming, rocking, love making, and getting on the floor and doing weird exercises. So if you will have people around that area while you're doing any of those, consider who you are comfortable doing those things infront of [excluding the love making-of course you have your own room for personal time with your husband]. I knew I wanted my step dad close for all of that, for the reasons I said before...He's just always been the person to help me get through pain and he uses such simple logic, which I think I'll benefit from at that time. So it's just a matter of really considering people's personalities when you decide to let them be a part of your birthing experience. Also consider who can be focused and who can be quiet. Sometimes you'll just want everyone to shut up, and if you invite that hilarious uncle who has to have the last word in all the time, you might end up punching him. But all in all, don't forget that it's YOUR decision, and it's YOUR feelings that matter. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, or guilt trip you into choosing anything in your birth plan that you aren't ok with in the slightest.
Also, coming home. For me, I have a lot of family coming from out of town to be here for the birth [even out of state!], and it's natural for me to want to house them, feed them, and make them comfortable. But I can tell you right now, you don't want them around. This is hard for me, because I feel like everyone is going to be here to see baby, and spend time with us, but I don't think I want to see much of anyone for a few days after the baby is born, so I'm going to suggest to anyone staying that they stay a good week, so I can start to feel a little better, and be a bit more stable to visit with anyone at all. If you have family that comes into town and stays with you at your house usually, you need to make it clear before they make their plans that they will need to find a hotel to stay at, or other family's houses. The thing with out of town family is they will be very excited to see you and their focus will be on visiting. And after the birth, home time is about you and baby and daddy ONLY. So I'll share a bit of my plan with you. My biggest fear about coming home is having excessive bleeding. I just know this is going to be something I struggle with, so I'm considering who I feel comfortable around while I'm wearing adult diapers and potty pads on the bed. So I've decided my husband will be there of course, but to be honest, his job may keep him working shortly after the birth [we are looking into paternity leave rights], so I want a few people on call, or checking on me and baby for a few days. So of course, my mom will be the first one I call for anything. Also, my brother in law Mark will be living with us, and at first I was a little up in the air about that one during the home time. But the more I think about it, the more I am glad he will be there. Mark and I are close and I feel comfortable with him. It will be nice to have someone near incase anything happens, and I know he'd be willing to help,and best of all-he's quiet! This is my biggest concern for being home. I just want quiet! I will decide when visiting time is ok, and they will be short visits. I plan on sending out a text to any inlaws, cousins, sibilings, and parents that want to visit when I feel best. I think it's important not to make promises. Instead of saying, "oh yeah, come over tomorrow around 3" say things like "I'll text you tomorrow if I feel up for any company". In the first few days after the baby is born, your body is going through so much, you are still having contractions, cramps, bleeding, headaches, and many more adjustments, not to mention you are trying to learn to breastfeed, bond with baby, and attempt to change diapers all in the mix. The last thing I want in that time is movie time in the next room. [especially if you knew how small our apartment is!] So I hope I gave you some good advice, just remember that this time is about you and baby, and other's wishes will just have to be put on hold. It's too important for your health and sanity!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Struggles with divorce, and how will this affect my children?
I'm writing this not to vent or sort my own thoughts, because God knows I've over thought this topic, and talked it to death. I have resolved these issues in my own heart and head, but I want to lend a hand of support to many mom's and mom's-to-be that I know are struggling with the same confliction.
My parents Married in 1990, I was born in 1992, and they were divorced by 1993 or '94, and my Mom was remarried by 1996. Needless to say, I do not have a single memory of my Mom and dad being together at all. But I have been very blessed to be surrounded by loving marriages, including my Mother's to her husband, Monty who in February will be married 16 years. =)
I never struggled with the idea of my parents not being together, because it was such a foreign idea to me. I don't know any different, and this is where my story differs from many other's, because I have never had to deal with the pain of change. -At least not until I was engaged.
I did struggle with the commitment to my now husband, at the very early stages of our relationship, when I was a mere 15, and he was 20. I honestly didn't think I was capable of keeping a marriage together. This is where I struggled with issues with my own Father because I felt like it was in my blood to not succeed in a marriage-though now that I'm older, I don't blame either parties in any divorce in either of my parents lives. Things happen, no body wanted or expected anyone to split up, and it all comes down to a lack of a relationship with God that wedged between each marriage. Everyone is human, but unless both parties are founded in their faith with God, it won't work.
As Thomas and I grew together, he showed me Jesus, and he also showed me how beautiful a marriage could be, and that we were capable of forever. Cheesey? maybe, but far from false. So up until recently, I never struggled with any of my parents' business, because I didn't care. I was fairly happy with the examples and lessons learned around me. But I did work through the insecurities in my commitment issues, and Thomas and I blossomed.
But as Thomas and I started planning a family and talking about children, I started to realise the things that were missing, and it was like I discovered a hole in my heart that I never knew was there before. I never cared about the separate birthdays, Christmas', vacations, and double Father's days. Until I realised that I couldn't imagine putting my child through that. Truth is, the most painful memories as a kid were the long car rides between mom & dad's house, where I had a good hour to think about how screwed up it was that I had to pack a suitcase to see dad and how I had to miss ball games at mom's. Not to mention the constant burden on my shoulders of being worth a mere $300 a month. Now let me insert here that I had good parents...I personally wouldn't have ever told me how much someone paid a month for me, but it wasn't shoved down my throat, and both parents reminded me all the time that I'm priceless and both would pay all their money to see me any time...but I could see the frustration. A kid knows. This is where I've discovered the things I would do differently...not that I'm saying my parents failed in this sense, but this is just an example of something I would do differently, because my 18th birthday was the biggest day of my life...not because I could get my tattoo finally, or that I was finally legally allowed to date my fiance, but because finally-FINALLY-there would not be a check made ever again to any parent of mine in concern of me. I don't want that for my child [not that my parents did], but I would passionately would lay down my life before I had to do that. It caused so much pain for me and my family.
What I'm getting at is, your divorced parents do affect your parenting in your own family. In the sense that everything that you carried as a child will surface as a parent. Now that I'm expecting a child there are so many things I think about from my childhood that I hope to apply to my children someday. And honestly, I wouldn't change a thing about my parents and their choices, because I would not be who I am if it wasn't for those circumstances. There were even positive things that came from their divorce. I think I saw each parent in a more vulnerable state, and was able to learn and read each one a lot more deeper, rather than just Mom & Dad. I guess what I've taken with me that I wish to give to my children is that no one expects these things to happen...but sometimes they do. Do I swear to God and my husband, and myself, that I will do everything I can to keep my husband and I together forever? Yes, I swear. But the last few days, I've realised that some things are beyond my own control, and this is where as a mother I need to set some bases down now for the future. And not in 'preparation' for divorce, but also death. Anything could happen to my husband or I, and I want to know that my deepest wishes are being met when I'm not there. Last night, I made my husband promise me that if we ever separated, or I died, that he would tell our kids often that he loves me. Not loved, but loves. I don't believe that if you were in love at one time and created a life together, you can ever go from love to loved, unless there was truly no foundation there in the first place. To love a child you created with someone, you have to love the one you created the child with. Other wise you'll begin to despise half the child. You wont look at that child with as pure of a heart. [notice I do not say in love, but there has to be an appreciation, a care, and a common understanding.] I want our children to know that my husband and I love each other to the end of the world. That they were created in pure love. I want them to know they were not the reason we got married. And most definitely that if we split up that they were not the reason for that either. Any issues between mom and dad, are just that...between mom and dad. I also made him promise to keep pictures of me around, but not just me, us as a family, as a couple, as parents...I can count how many pictures of my mom and dad I've seen...and almost all of them I just saw as recently as this year. I also made him promise me to keep our story alive. I have no idea how my parents fell in love, where their first date was, or their favorite movie to watch together. I never felt like I was missing these things before, because I know that My mom and step-dad met at her work, had their first date with me and my brother at a mini-golf place, and their favorite vacation spot is on the coast where they engorge themselves with seafood for an entire weekend. But there's something about knowing the two people who created you that is so important once you become a parent. I dream of telling my baby all about mom and dad, and I know my parents wanted the same for me, I'm sure. I am thankful that things happened the way they did though, so that I know now the things I want for my kid. Maybe if I had heard these stories of my parents, I wouldn't have appreciated my love story with my husband as much.
I believe that divorced parents can be a blessing in your journey as parent yourself. You can take all the wonderful things, and all the bad things, and apply them to your children's lives in a positive way. You can see the things you wish your parents had done, and do them yourself. And not just with divorced parents, this applies to all childhoods...there is good and bad in each, and you just have to take what your parents did and learn from it, and use it in your day to day lives. I don't believe in whining about it, or letting it affect you negatively. God put me in my parents life for a reason, and he knew what lied before all of us. I'm going to use his plan he had for them and apply it to the plan he has for my husband and I, because that's all I can do! So I think it's important to not hold grudges against either parent for anything that happened in their marriage, because now it's your turn!
My parents Married in 1990, I was born in 1992, and they were divorced by 1993 or '94, and my Mom was remarried by 1996. Needless to say, I do not have a single memory of my Mom and dad being together at all. But I have been very blessed to be surrounded by loving marriages, including my Mother's to her husband, Monty who in February will be married 16 years. =)
I never struggled with the idea of my parents not being together, because it was such a foreign idea to me. I don't know any different, and this is where my story differs from many other's, because I have never had to deal with the pain of change. -At least not until I was engaged.
I did struggle with the commitment to my now husband, at the very early stages of our relationship, when I was a mere 15, and he was 20. I honestly didn't think I was capable of keeping a marriage together. This is where I struggled with issues with my own Father because I felt like it was in my blood to not succeed in a marriage-though now that I'm older, I don't blame either parties in any divorce in either of my parents lives. Things happen, no body wanted or expected anyone to split up, and it all comes down to a lack of a relationship with God that wedged between each marriage. Everyone is human, but unless both parties are founded in their faith with God, it won't work.
As Thomas and I grew together, he showed me Jesus, and he also showed me how beautiful a marriage could be, and that we were capable of forever. Cheesey? maybe, but far from false. So up until recently, I never struggled with any of my parents' business, because I didn't care. I was fairly happy with the examples and lessons learned around me. But I did work through the insecurities in my commitment issues, and Thomas and I blossomed.
But as Thomas and I started planning a family and talking about children, I started to realise the things that were missing, and it was like I discovered a hole in my heart that I never knew was there before. I never cared about the separate birthdays, Christmas', vacations, and double Father's days. Until I realised that I couldn't imagine putting my child through that. Truth is, the most painful memories as a kid were the long car rides between mom & dad's house, where I had a good hour to think about how screwed up it was that I had to pack a suitcase to see dad and how I had to miss ball games at mom's. Not to mention the constant burden on my shoulders of being worth a mere $300 a month. Now let me insert here that I had good parents...I personally wouldn't have ever told me how much someone paid a month for me, but it wasn't shoved down my throat, and both parents reminded me all the time that I'm priceless and both would pay all their money to see me any time...but I could see the frustration. A kid knows. This is where I've discovered the things I would do differently...not that I'm saying my parents failed in this sense, but this is just an example of something I would do differently, because my 18th birthday was the biggest day of my life...not because I could get my tattoo finally, or that I was finally legally allowed to date my fiance, but because finally-FINALLY-there would not be a check made ever again to any parent of mine in concern of me. I don't want that for my child [not that my parents did], but I would passionately would lay down my life before I had to do that. It caused so much pain for me and my family.
What I'm getting at is, your divorced parents do affect your parenting in your own family. In the sense that everything that you carried as a child will surface as a parent. Now that I'm expecting a child there are so many things I think about from my childhood that I hope to apply to my children someday. And honestly, I wouldn't change a thing about my parents and their choices, because I would not be who I am if it wasn't for those circumstances. There were even positive things that came from their divorce. I think I saw each parent in a more vulnerable state, and was able to learn and read each one a lot more deeper, rather than just Mom & Dad. I guess what I've taken with me that I wish to give to my children is that no one expects these things to happen...but sometimes they do. Do I swear to God and my husband, and myself, that I will do everything I can to keep my husband and I together forever? Yes, I swear. But the last few days, I've realised that some things are beyond my own control, and this is where as a mother I need to set some bases down now for the future. And not in 'preparation' for divorce, but also death. Anything could happen to my husband or I, and I want to know that my deepest wishes are being met when I'm not there. Last night, I made my husband promise me that if we ever separated, or I died, that he would tell our kids often that he loves me. Not loved, but loves. I don't believe that if you were in love at one time and created a life together, you can ever go from love to loved, unless there was truly no foundation there in the first place. To love a child you created with someone, you have to love the one you created the child with. Other wise you'll begin to despise half the child. You wont look at that child with as pure of a heart. [notice I do not say in love, but there has to be an appreciation, a care, and a common understanding.] I want our children to know that my husband and I love each other to the end of the world. That they were created in pure love. I want them to know they were not the reason we got married. And most definitely that if we split up that they were not the reason for that either. Any issues between mom and dad, are just that...between mom and dad. I also made him promise to keep pictures of me around, but not just me, us as a family, as a couple, as parents...I can count how many pictures of my mom and dad I've seen...and almost all of them I just saw as recently as this year. I also made him promise me to keep our story alive. I have no idea how my parents fell in love, where their first date was, or their favorite movie to watch together. I never felt like I was missing these things before, because I know that My mom and step-dad met at her work, had their first date with me and my brother at a mini-golf place, and their favorite vacation spot is on the coast where they engorge themselves with seafood for an entire weekend. But there's something about knowing the two people who created you that is so important once you become a parent. I dream of telling my baby all about mom and dad, and I know my parents wanted the same for me, I'm sure. I am thankful that things happened the way they did though, so that I know now the things I want for my kid. Maybe if I had heard these stories of my parents, I wouldn't have appreciated my love story with my husband as much.
I believe that divorced parents can be a blessing in your journey as parent yourself. You can take all the wonderful things, and all the bad things, and apply them to your children's lives in a positive way. You can see the things you wish your parents had done, and do them yourself. And not just with divorced parents, this applies to all childhoods...there is good and bad in each, and you just have to take what your parents did and learn from it, and use it in your day to day lives. I don't believe in whining about it, or letting it affect you negatively. God put me in my parents life for a reason, and he knew what lied before all of us. I'm going to use his plan he had for them and apply it to the plan he has for my husband and I, because that's all I can do! So I think it's important to not hold grudges against either parent for anything that happened in their marriage, because now it's your turn!
Belly Pictures from first trimester
This was taken on my mom's birthday [10/10] when I had a suspicion I may be pregnant. This is exactly one week after conception. my suspicion grew that night when my mom gave me funny looks and swore she knew I was pregnant...Mom's know best.
October 26th...This was three days after I found out I was pregnant. I was really bloated and hungry! Not really sick yet though!
This was taken November 10th. Bloating went down a bit, this is all baby. Deathly sick...probably lost a bit of weight from throwing up.
November 16th, Not much of a difference, but my boobs are gigantic at this point.
This was taken November 22nd, right before Thanksgiving...The sickness was easing up slightly, but was still throwing up everyday, so that is all baby, no food...haha.
This was taken on my Older Brother's birthday, December 1st. Getting pretty big.
Had our first Doctors appointment 2 days before this picture. We heard the heart beat, my HCG levels were good, and I weighed in at 95 pounds! 3 pound weight gain is huge for me!
This was taken December 6th, in front of one of my mom's Christmas trees. =) I love how this one turned out, I think I'm going to put it in the nursery.
And lastly, 12 weeks 3 days, on December 15th. I feel huge...already!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Dear baby 12/19/11
Dear Baby,
Today I started my second trimester with you in my belly. I waited this long to write you for fear of losing you, but I think you're stuck in there for a while longer. The first trimester, you kicked my butt.
Daddy and I got to hear your heart beat 3 weeks ago, and I've recently got to feel you move, but just a few times. I want you to know how excited your daddy and I are to meet you. I think it's important that you know you are loved and wanted even before you're here. I have wanted you since I was a little girl, and I've been praying for you for so long. It's important to me that I know I've done everything I can to make sure you know that you are perfect, and nothing about you, the time you came, or any of the circumstances surrounding you are wrong. Everything is right and perfect. I want you to know that I love your Dad more than anyone else on this planet, and the fact that we created something that is half me, and half him, is the most amazing thing to ever happen. Thinking about you in my arms in a few short months is getting me through the day. I pray for you everyday. I pray that you are and will be happy, comfortable, and healthy. And I pray that you know the God that made you, and you too will give your heart to him the way your Dad and I have. I pray that you will have friendships, and love, and dreams. And I pray that all your needs are met, all of your wants, and all of your goals. I love you very much. Thank you for completing my heart.
Love,
Mommy.
Today I started my second trimester with you in my belly. I waited this long to write you for fear of losing you, but I think you're stuck in there for a while longer. The first trimester, you kicked my butt.
Daddy and I got to hear your heart beat 3 weeks ago, and I've recently got to feel you move, but just a few times. I want you to know how excited your daddy and I are to meet you. I think it's important that you know you are loved and wanted even before you're here. I have wanted you since I was a little girl, and I've been praying for you for so long. It's important to me that I know I've done everything I can to make sure you know that you are perfect, and nothing about you, the time you came, or any of the circumstances surrounding you are wrong. Everything is right and perfect. I want you to know that I love your Dad more than anyone else on this planet, and the fact that we created something that is half me, and half him, is the most amazing thing to ever happen. Thinking about you in my arms in a few short months is getting me through the day. I pray for you everyday. I pray that you are and will be happy, comfortable, and healthy. And I pray that you know the God that made you, and you too will give your heart to him the way your Dad and I have. I pray that you will have friendships, and love, and dreams. And I pray that all your needs are met, all of your wants, and all of your goals. I love you very much. Thank you for completing my heart.
Love,
Mommy.
Circumcision: To cut, or not to cut?
this is a post I've been wanting to discuss for quite some time, but wasn't sure what angle I wanted to go at. I decided not to discuss any personal opinions of my family's or my husband's family. I will discuss my thoughts, my husbands, and discuss the things I've learned, and ultimately how our decision was made.
So first off, I know this is a touchy subject, because I know it gets into religion, and personal hygiene, along with just talking about things that most aren't comfortable with.. But I am comfortable, and I feel like it needs to be discussed a lot more.
So let me make it known now, that my husband and I are both against circumcision, and I am quite aware that the rest of my blog is a little harsh and quite opinionated. But this is something I feel passionate about, and not many people have the guts to be loud about it-so I'm not going to beat around the bush of any part of it.
So first just so we are all clear: What is circumcision? It is the surgical removal of all or part of the foreskin on the penis...usually done shortly after a boy is born. Parents who choose circumcision often do so based on religious beliefs, concerns about hygiene, or cultural or social reasons, such as the wish to have their son look like other men in the family.
So let me touch on each reason seperately. First is religion...I can't really do or say much that would prevent anyone from going against their religious traditions, but I can say briefly, when it comes down to it, your son's salvation is not based on what has been done, or not done to his penis. What matters is what you teach him in life about God, forgiveness, sin, and what's right and wrong. God looks into your heart, and wether you've accepted him as your saviour or not. Also, I'm going to tack in there that God created man in his own perfect image, so therefore your son is made exactly how he was supposed to be. That's all I'm going to say about that. This religious part could turn very long and only turn people to get offensive and I am not looking for a religious argument at all.
Next is hygiene. Many parents' first response to the question is "well you can keep his penis cleaner if it's circumsized." I first want to say I've never heard of an uncut man who had a hard time keeping it clean. It's as simple as pulling the skin back to wash. Does it hold more bacteria? I guess hypothetically it could, causing UTI's, but this is where a mother and father are to instill good personal hygiene in their son from an early age. It's important to teach your son how to keep EVERY part of their body as clean as possible. A boy should take a thorough shower EVERYDAY and if he has been playing especially hard, then twice a day. Every boy should know that if he played hard, and is sweaty, then he is more likely to have sweat in areas such as his arm pits, his tooshie, his feet, and yes, his penis...and it is to be cleaned if it's dirty...doesn't matter if he JUST took a shower that morning. Neglecting showers causes UTIs, other infections, and just plain smelliness. I realise boys are not easy to keep clean. Even as a wife, I have to tell my husband he smells and he needs another shower. There's something in the male brain that doesn't care as much as females, but if you make them aware at a young age, they stay aware. My dad says he's loved to be clean since he was a kid, mostly because he had a lot of sisters and they were clean, and as an adult, I've never seen my dad not shower twice a day, always change into clean clothes before dinner, never go to bed dirty, and my dad's a hard worker...he just puts the effort into being clean. It's all about how you were taught as a kid. So I don't believe hygiene should be used as a factor in this decision, unless you truely believe you are incapable of showing your son how to shower...but that is your job as a parent!
Next is social reasons. I believe most people choose circumcision because they never even considered the alternative-to leave it alone. It's what their parents chose, their friends chose, it was just what you did because of their thoughts and opinions. I remember in highschool the girls would talk about how weird it would be to have sex with an uncut man...and how gross it would be. And the boys would talk about how sex wouldn't feel as good for them if they hadn't been cut. And looking back on this I see how FALSE and ridiculous all these assumptions are, since they were just assumed because everyone else assumed them. There is no difference in sex for a girl wether its with a man who has been cut or not cut. And I can tell you right now, if you seclude yourself to your husband only, you wont know any difference anyways. And I have never met a man say "man, I just don't like sex, too bad my parents left this skin on my penis, I know I'd like it more had they cut it off"...men will always like sex, and if anything I'd imagine leaving the penis the way it was made would make it feel best, since it's natural and sex is the most natural thing you can do. So parents, your child's sex life will never suffer no matter what your decision is, so please don't consider this in your decision making any more! If you really want to consider your son's sex life...consider this-most believe a woman is the one that is lubricating during sex, but truth is, a males foreskin is what holds his natural lubricant. A woman alone can not produce enough natural lubricant to last long enough for an entire sexual encounter to prevent chafing and soreness, a male's is required, and cutting his foreskin pretty much ruins all of that. As for a child wanting to look like his father...after the age of 5, I don't think any boy really cares what his father looks like naked.
when I made the decision not to partake in this surgery for my son, none of these factors even came to mind, that's why I briefly covered those topics to get them out of the way. The real reasons why I would never want this for my son are:
1. The foreskin is attached to the penis like a fingernail, I'm telling you right now, it's the worst pain you could put your infant through. Thinking about my son making the rough journey into this world, all the scary faces, unfamiliar things, and then you put him on the surgery table [usually eagle strapped to a table; and over 50% of procedures are done without anesthesia] to put him in such a pain seems so wrong of me to do. I just keep picturing his face-confused and in pain...I can't stomach that experience. And not just during, but the weeks after...they are in pain, and then heaven forbid, something went wrong and it gets infected, you are the one that has to take care of it.
2. It is genital mutilation. I shouldn't have to say more. And the fact of the matter is, some one is touching your sons genitals in the process. Going a little extreme would be to call this a molestation, but I do know that a stranger has his hands on his penis and at no time did the boy say he wanted any part of it and doesn't need it. That was my biggest afflicition...it is what it is, no matter what you want to call it.
3. I don't have the right. For parents to say they have the right to choose this for their son's makes me sick. It is their body, and their choice, and they will have the option for this later in life. It is irreversable...once it's gone, it's gone. You wouldn't tattoo your baby, right? well for the same reasons you wouldn't tattoo your baby, I wouldn't remove a healthy good working body part on my son.
4. Death. It is a fact that more boys die from complications of circumcision than they do from cancer of the penis that the circumcision MAY help prevent. That right there shows you just how pointless the surgery is.
5. The baby tells you he doesn't want it done. Babies have different cries for different things, a mother can tell by her baby's cry if he's sick, if he's tired, if he's hungry, and there is a definite cry for pain. And there is no cry like the cry from a circumcised little boy. They cry for weeks sometimes months, and most mother's dismiss it as them being hungry or grumpy. It's ignored. And I would never want that pang of guilt every time I heard that high pitched cry.
6. It interferes with breastfeeding. It hurts for him to pee or even lay on his belly, causing a lot of problems when it comes to breastfeeding. Statistics show that since it's harder for a circumcised baby to focus on breastfeeding, more of them are formula fed in the end, because the mom's give up. And when you take away the breast milk, it makes it even harder for the baby to fight any infections and for the surgery to heal the way it should. Not to mention, take away breastfeeding and you're taking away crucial bonding time between the son and mother.
7. It's not natural, and I'm pro-attachment parenting. Women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time, and raising them naturally-breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, doing it how they've always done it. Using your best tool you're born with-natural instinct. And I personally believe circumcising your son goes against nature, goes against a mother's instinct, and goes against attachment parenting.
8. How do I teach my son that it's what's on the inside that counts if I cut him to somehow make him 'better'. I would feel hypocritical. What my son chooses to do with his own body is one thing-piercings, tattoos, body altercations, or even a future circumcision, is his own choice, but until he's of age to make those choices for himself, I want to in still the message that he's beautiful to me, and there's nothing wrong with any part of him.
So, of course I'd never call a mom a bad mom if she made the decision to take part in the surgery for her son, but I hope that every mother does the research on the surgery they are paying for, before they just do it...Learn what you are taking part in nad make your own decision, not someone else's.
There are many sites and support groups for regretting parents and resentful victims of circumcision...I hope anyone who may be grouped into either of those can find the support your need. I will later be posting links of some helpful sites, once I really check them out. Hope I brought up some things that you hadn't thought about before!
So first off, I know this is a touchy subject, because I know it gets into religion, and personal hygiene, along with just talking about things that most aren't comfortable with.. But I am comfortable, and I feel like it needs to be discussed a lot more.
So let me make it known now, that my husband and I are both against circumcision, and I am quite aware that the rest of my blog is a little harsh and quite opinionated. But this is something I feel passionate about, and not many people have the guts to be loud about it-so I'm not going to beat around the bush of any part of it.
So first just so we are all clear: What is circumcision? It is the surgical removal of all or part of the foreskin on the penis...usually done shortly after a boy is born. Parents who choose circumcision often do so based on religious beliefs, concerns about hygiene, or cultural or social reasons, such as the wish to have their son look like other men in the family.
So let me touch on each reason seperately. First is religion...I can't really do or say much that would prevent anyone from going against their religious traditions, but I can say briefly, when it comes down to it, your son's salvation is not based on what has been done, or not done to his penis. What matters is what you teach him in life about God, forgiveness, sin, and what's right and wrong. God looks into your heart, and wether you've accepted him as your saviour or not. Also, I'm going to tack in there that God created man in his own perfect image, so therefore your son is made exactly how he was supposed to be. That's all I'm going to say about that. This religious part could turn very long and only turn people to get offensive and I am not looking for a religious argument at all.
Next is hygiene. Many parents' first response to the question is "well you can keep his penis cleaner if it's circumsized." I first want to say I've never heard of an uncut man who had a hard time keeping it clean. It's as simple as pulling the skin back to wash. Does it hold more bacteria? I guess hypothetically it could, causing UTI's, but this is where a mother and father are to instill good personal hygiene in their son from an early age. It's important to teach your son how to keep EVERY part of their body as clean as possible. A boy should take a thorough shower EVERYDAY and if he has been playing especially hard, then twice a day. Every boy should know that if he played hard, and is sweaty, then he is more likely to have sweat in areas such as his arm pits, his tooshie, his feet, and yes, his penis...and it is to be cleaned if it's dirty...doesn't matter if he JUST took a shower that morning. Neglecting showers causes UTIs, other infections, and just plain smelliness. I realise boys are not easy to keep clean. Even as a wife, I have to tell my husband he smells and he needs another shower. There's something in the male brain that doesn't care as much as females, but if you make them aware at a young age, they stay aware. My dad says he's loved to be clean since he was a kid, mostly because he had a lot of sisters and they were clean, and as an adult, I've never seen my dad not shower twice a day, always change into clean clothes before dinner, never go to bed dirty, and my dad's a hard worker...he just puts the effort into being clean. It's all about how you were taught as a kid. So I don't believe hygiene should be used as a factor in this decision, unless you truely believe you are incapable of showing your son how to shower...but that is your job as a parent!
Next is social reasons. I believe most people choose circumcision because they never even considered the alternative-to leave it alone. It's what their parents chose, their friends chose, it was just what you did because of their thoughts and opinions. I remember in highschool the girls would talk about how weird it would be to have sex with an uncut man...and how gross it would be. And the boys would talk about how sex wouldn't feel as good for them if they hadn't been cut. And looking back on this I see how FALSE and ridiculous all these assumptions are, since they were just assumed because everyone else assumed them. There is no difference in sex for a girl wether its with a man who has been cut or not cut. And I can tell you right now, if you seclude yourself to your husband only, you wont know any difference anyways. And I have never met a man say "man, I just don't like sex, too bad my parents left this skin on my penis, I know I'd like it more had they cut it off"...men will always like sex, and if anything I'd imagine leaving the penis the way it was made would make it feel best, since it's natural and sex is the most natural thing you can do. So parents, your child's sex life will never suffer no matter what your decision is, so please don't consider this in your decision making any more! If you really want to consider your son's sex life...consider this-most believe a woman is the one that is lubricating during sex, but truth is, a males foreskin is what holds his natural lubricant. A woman alone can not produce enough natural lubricant to last long enough for an entire sexual encounter to prevent chafing and soreness, a male's is required, and cutting his foreskin pretty much ruins all of that. As for a child wanting to look like his father...after the age of 5, I don't think any boy really cares what his father looks like naked.
when I made the decision not to partake in this surgery for my son, none of these factors even came to mind, that's why I briefly covered those topics to get them out of the way. The real reasons why I would never want this for my son are:
1. The foreskin is attached to the penis like a fingernail, I'm telling you right now, it's the worst pain you could put your infant through. Thinking about my son making the rough journey into this world, all the scary faces, unfamiliar things, and then you put him on the surgery table [usually eagle strapped to a table; and over 50% of procedures are done without anesthesia] to put him in such a pain seems so wrong of me to do. I just keep picturing his face-confused and in pain...I can't stomach that experience. And not just during, but the weeks after...they are in pain, and then heaven forbid, something went wrong and it gets infected, you are the one that has to take care of it.
2. It is genital mutilation. I shouldn't have to say more. And the fact of the matter is, some one is touching your sons genitals in the process. Going a little extreme would be to call this a molestation, but I do know that a stranger has his hands on his penis and at no time did the boy say he wanted any part of it and doesn't need it. That was my biggest afflicition...it is what it is, no matter what you want to call it.
3. I don't have the right. For parents to say they have the right to choose this for their son's makes me sick. It is their body, and their choice, and they will have the option for this later in life. It is irreversable...once it's gone, it's gone. You wouldn't tattoo your baby, right? well for the same reasons you wouldn't tattoo your baby, I wouldn't remove a healthy good working body part on my son.
4. Death. It is a fact that more boys die from complications of circumcision than they do from cancer of the penis that the circumcision MAY help prevent. That right there shows you just how pointless the surgery is.
5. The baby tells you he doesn't want it done. Babies have different cries for different things, a mother can tell by her baby's cry if he's sick, if he's tired, if he's hungry, and there is a definite cry for pain. And there is no cry like the cry from a circumcised little boy. They cry for weeks sometimes months, and most mother's dismiss it as them being hungry or grumpy. It's ignored. And I would never want that pang of guilt every time I heard that high pitched cry.
6. It interferes with breastfeeding. It hurts for him to pee or even lay on his belly, causing a lot of problems when it comes to breastfeeding. Statistics show that since it's harder for a circumcised baby to focus on breastfeeding, more of them are formula fed in the end, because the mom's give up. And when you take away the breast milk, it makes it even harder for the baby to fight any infections and for the surgery to heal the way it should. Not to mention, take away breastfeeding and you're taking away crucial bonding time between the son and mother.
7. It's not natural, and I'm pro-attachment parenting. Women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time, and raising them naturally-breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, doing it how they've always done it. Using your best tool you're born with-natural instinct. And I personally believe circumcising your son goes against nature, goes against a mother's instinct, and goes against attachment parenting.
8. How do I teach my son that it's what's on the inside that counts if I cut him to somehow make him 'better'. I would feel hypocritical. What my son chooses to do with his own body is one thing-piercings, tattoos, body altercations, or even a future circumcision, is his own choice, but until he's of age to make those choices for himself, I want to in still the message that he's beautiful to me, and there's nothing wrong with any part of him.
So, of course I'd never call a mom a bad mom if she made the decision to take part in the surgery for her son, but I hope that every mother does the research on the surgery they are paying for, before they just do it...Learn what you are taking part in nad make your own decision, not someone else's.
There are many sites and support groups for regretting parents and resentful victims of circumcision...I hope anyone who may be grouped into either of those can find the support your need. I will later be posting links of some helpful sites, once I really check them out. Hope I brought up some things that you hadn't thought about before!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Bah humbug day.
One thing I'm really struggling with in my pregnancy is some of the emotions that come with it. At least I'm hoping these are just emotions. I've noticed lately a lot of people are really distancing themselves from me, and I feel like maybe I've been hurting people and not realising it. And then again, I feel like maybe everything is fine and I'm just making it all up in my head-mostly because my husband keeps telling me so haha. He's a happy go lucky guy who doesn't cause issues, avoids them at any cost, and if there is an issue he'd rather pretend it's not there. And while that is comforting and easy at times, I'm just the opposite and I can sense people's feelings towards me and always feel the need to fix it. I'm a fixer...with everything. But it's weird because I'll be having, what I believe a normal conversation with someone, and I feel like they are constantly defending themselves to me, as if I've attacked them. So I want to make it clear to anyone reading this, that I have not meant to strike any harm or hurt, any embarassment or shame, any annoyance or any mean-ness towards anyone. I hope these are hormones and twisted pregnancy thinking, and I'm not really losing relationships with people. =/
Friday, December 16, 2011
found a cure for nipple pain!
Ok, so I may have mentioned before how sore my breasteses [as I always call them] have been...but let me elaborate. Aparently some women are more sensitive than others, and I seem to be one of the severe cases. My actual boobs have been swollen and bruised due to a rib I threw out a few weeks ago from throwing up, but thank God, that's pretty much all healed and I can breathe without crying now! but they are still engorged, sore, tight, and heavy, and my nipples are so cracked they bleed sometimes, and hurt to touch. So...for the actual heavyness of the the breasts, I've found a simple bra with no underwire with a sportsbra on top is working best to relieve my back and sides. And for the nipples...drum roll please...VASELINE! it's been doing the trick, so any other pregnant women out there, give it a try...the creams at the store don't work and are super expensive. Seems simple, not sure why I didn't think to try it sooner!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
11 and 12 week updates.
11 weeks was a great point for me. Last week my morning sickness pretty much stopped all together. I also was swearing that I was feeling the baby...just slightly. Everyone was calling me crazy though so I ignored it. I definitely feel the weight that I'm gaining. Also, since week 9, my bra size has gone up a cup, and I'm not the least bit thrilled. So sore, so heavy, so miserable.
12 weeks. This week for me is huge, even though I just started it. I've been looking forward to this milestone for quite some time...before I was even pregnant. Probably the most secure place in my pregnancy. They baby is pretty strong at this point, and looks more like a baby than an alien. The chance of miscarriage at this point is pretty slim, but the fact that it is still possible still rings in my hears. I just keep chanting "you've made it 12 weeks, Amber, calm down!" to myself. haha. One thing is, the last few days, I'm positive I've felt the baby, and I wish I hadn't ignored it last week. I've read many tiny moms feel the baby as early as 10-11 weeks...average mom feels it between 13-15. So I'm taking this moment to declare week twelve as the week I felt the baby for the first time. But I think I was more concerned that it wasn't real, that it distracted the moments. So I'm paitiently waiting for him to move again. I'm pretty much on a schedule with eating. I have a breakfast every morning-which I never used to be able to do. Then i eat two lunches, once around 1, once around 3, then dinner usually around 5 or 6, and another dinner around 9, and then I usually snack throughout the night. I haven't weighed myself since my last Doctor's apt the end of November. My next appt is Dec. 27th. My pre-pregnancy weight was 92, last time I weighed in at 95, and I'm hoping to see at least 99 on the scale next time. My belly is getting pretty good size, and I want to measure it soon. My waist has always been 23 inches, so I'm curious to see what it is now. =) Some new pregnancy symptoms I've recently come to experience...heartburn-even when I eat the most simple of things. Ice cream, mayonnaise, and popsicles all give me heartburn. Also, smelly armpits. I shower twice daily at least, sometimes 3...and it doesn't matter how much I scrub them, how much deodorant I wear, I'll be sitting there on the couch and all of a sudden my armpits are radiating BO...I've never ever had this problem before. Something to do with the hormones...I'll be looking more into it. Also, I am always annoyed with people. I get rather pissed off at little things. I was never like this before. I'm a people person, very accepting, but sometimes if someone is telling a stupid joke, I have to leave the room before I blow up and tell them just how stupid that joke is. haha. I laugh now, but I feel awful when it happens. I feel like a mean person, but I can't help it. Oh and I have the worst road rage-from the passenger side. I never got my driver's licence [because I was always so scared of wrecking], and my goal before my third trimester was to get my licence, but my husband and I both agree now is not the time for me to be on the road. I roll down the window and cuss at the guy who didn't use his blinker. I get soooo angry being in the car. Thomas has started distracting me by talking to me in the car, but I still spot stupidity in the corner of my eye. Haha, it's the worst. And it's just as bad being a pedestrian...I'm the crazy screaming lady walking to work, because people have no concern for pedestrians. Another thing is I see 2pm on the clock, and it's nap time, even if i slept til noon. my body is on this schedule of sleep and eating, and it takes up my entire day. I'm going with it though, because the baby is obviously needing food and rest, and it's my job to make sure he gets it.
Baby names are the topic right now, we've had the boy name picked out for a long time, it's Tucker Stanley, but the girl name changes day to day, so I'll keep you posted on any of that.
I finally did some shopping for the baby the other day. I was really excited. I was taking a walk through town and had some cash on my so I stopped at Bella's Boutique new and used baby store. I really like this store for the clothes and blankets, but I do not recommend them for furniture, or customer service. They were selling a used crib that they sell at target for 250, and she had it tagged for 475!!! She's out to make a profit. but, I got a couple outfits, 7 bibs, and a burb cloth all for around $10. And they were all new and so cute! I also found some good deals on wipes and lotions recently, so I picked some of those up. Our diaper bag is full of stuff, so I bought an organizer and am going to start setting up baby stuff, now that our collection is growing. Well, that's about it for week 12, I want to post a few things tomorrow on topics about sonograms, circumcision, and baby gear.
12 weeks. This week for me is huge, even though I just started it. I've been looking forward to this milestone for quite some time...before I was even pregnant. Probably the most secure place in my pregnancy. They baby is pretty strong at this point, and looks more like a baby than an alien. The chance of miscarriage at this point is pretty slim, but the fact that it is still possible still rings in my hears. I just keep chanting "you've made it 12 weeks, Amber, calm down!" to myself. haha. One thing is, the last few days, I'm positive I've felt the baby, and I wish I hadn't ignored it last week. I've read many tiny moms feel the baby as early as 10-11 weeks...average mom feels it between 13-15. So I'm taking this moment to declare week twelve as the week I felt the baby for the first time. But I think I was more concerned that it wasn't real, that it distracted the moments. So I'm paitiently waiting for him to move again. I'm pretty much on a schedule with eating. I have a breakfast every morning-which I never used to be able to do. Then i eat two lunches, once around 1, once around 3, then dinner usually around 5 or 6, and another dinner around 9, and then I usually snack throughout the night. I haven't weighed myself since my last Doctor's apt the end of November. My next appt is Dec. 27th. My pre-pregnancy weight was 92, last time I weighed in at 95, and I'm hoping to see at least 99 on the scale next time. My belly is getting pretty good size, and I want to measure it soon. My waist has always been 23 inches, so I'm curious to see what it is now. =) Some new pregnancy symptoms I've recently come to experience...heartburn-even when I eat the most simple of things. Ice cream, mayonnaise, and popsicles all give me heartburn. Also, smelly armpits. I shower twice daily at least, sometimes 3...and it doesn't matter how much I scrub them, how much deodorant I wear, I'll be sitting there on the couch and all of a sudden my armpits are radiating BO...I've never ever had this problem before. Something to do with the hormones...I'll be looking more into it. Also, I am always annoyed with people. I get rather pissed off at little things. I was never like this before. I'm a people person, very accepting, but sometimes if someone is telling a stupid joke, I have to leave the room before I blow up and tell them just how stupid that joke is. haha. I laugh now, but I feel awful when it happens. I feel like a mean person, but I can't help it. Oh and I have the worst road rage-from the passenger side. I never got my driver's licence [because I was always so scared of wrecking], and my goal before my third trimester was to get my licence, but my husband and I both agree now is not the time for me to be on the road. I roll down the window and cuss at the guy who didn't use his blinker. I get soooo angry being in the car. Thomas has started distracting me by talking to me in the car, but I still spot stupidity in the corner of my eye. Haha, it's the worst. And it's just as bad being a pedestrian...I'm the crazy screaming lady walking to work, because people have no concern for pedestrians. Another thing is I see 2pm on the clock, and it's nap time, even if i slept til noon. my body is on this schedule of sleep and eating, and it takes up my entire day. I'm going with it though, because the baby is obviously needing food and rest, and it's my job to make sure he gets it.
Baby names are the topic right now, we've had the boy name picked out for a long time, it's Tucker Stanley, but the girl name changes day to day, so I'll keep you posted on any of that.
I finally did some shopping for the baby the other day. I was really excited. I was taking a walk through town and had some cash on my so I stopped at Bella's Boutique new and used baby store. I really like this store for the clothes and blankets, but I do not recommend them for furniture, or customer service. They were selling a used crib that they sell at target for 250, and she had it tagged for 475!!! She's out to make a profit. but, I got a couple outfits, 7 bibs, and a burb cloth all for around $10. And they were all new and so cute! I also found some good deals on wipes and lotions recently, so I picked some of those up. Our diaper bag is full of stuff, so I bought an organizer and am going to start setting up baby stuff, now that our collection is growing. Well, that's about it for week 12, I want to post a few things tomorrow on topics about sonograms, circumcision, and baby gear.
Friday, December 2, 2011
a little update.
My belly has officially become a belly. Even when I don't eat a big meal, it's still there and I officially can't suck it in. I'd like to say I reached the milestone of showing. haha. As soon as I figure out how to add pictures on here I will put one up of my new body addition. ;)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Morning Sickness.
As I'm writing this, I'm on the brink of puking. And for anyone out there that has been as miserable as me, I'm sure is willing to try anything. So here are some tips that have helped me, and some tips I've found online that help MOST people [but not me].
One thing I've found on many websites, that actually has helped me is eating small meals every couple of hours, while snacking in between. Basically, keep something in your mouth all the time. If you throw it up, at least you have something to throw up, and theres a chance that you'll eat enough to be able to keep some of it in. Where as, if you only eat a small amount, your more likely to puke it all up. The most important thing is to be getting some sort of food in your belly for the baby.
So many people say to eat Saltines and drink 7up, for me, this worked for about 3 days before the crackers smelled like sulfer and the 7up tasted like liquid candy. But if it works it works. An alternative would be cheezits. I have to say my belly liked those better...they do the same job and have a different flavor. And the cheese substance in it is softer, so when you throw up, it's a lot more coaxing. In the begining weeks water worked best for me, but we have a on-again off-again relationship. One day I love water, the next I hate it. Keep fluids in you though-even if you can't keep them down, keep drinking!!
They say to avoid citrus types of foods/drinks, and anything with a lot of acid, but around weeks 6-8 for me, I only wanted orange juice and tomato soup, and they worked great for me. One thing to remember is that everyone is different, so experiment.
Basically my food preferences change everyday. We have avoided any major food shopping trips, because we could buy a lot that sounds good, then the next day I wont touch any of it. So we buy as we go. I've learned that if something sounds tolerable, to jump on it and get it-chances our your brain is telling you what you need. Kraft Mac N Cheese and dry turkey breast sounded good to me for a week or so, and I lived on it. I only threw up once from the Mac and it really filled me up. I swear by the turkey, by the way! Just try it, something about it that soothes the tummy!
Another thing that many have told me to try, is ginger. I've tried ginger tablets, ginger altoids, and ginger gum-they all suck for me. But worth a shot. I haven't tried cookies, and I do love gingerbread cookies, so I'll give those a shot this Christmas time. =)
Also, avoid too hot or too cold of foods, that can irriate the stomach. Which is hard to do when I want a hot tea or a popsicle, so I use moderation...if I'm feeling well, I'll try something.
One thing that's really helped me is sitting up when I eat, it helps your stomach digest eveything better. Or try taking a walk after you eat. This can also help with constipation and gas...which since I've been pregnant have been some major issues for me. =(
I've found that pastas, which are my favorite foods, are harder to digest, and the worst to throw up, so I've avoided a lot of those.
I will probably post more later.
One thing I've found on many websites, that actually has helped me is eating small meals every couple of hours, while snacking in between. Basically, keep something in your mouth all the time. If you throw it up, at least you have something to throw up, and theres a chance that you'll eat enough to be able to keep some of it in. Where as, if you only eat a small amount, your more likely to puke it all up. The most important thing is to be getting some sort of food in your belly for the baby.
So many people say to eat Saltines and drink 7up, for me, this worked for about 3 days before the crackers smelled like sulfer and the 7up tasted like liquid candy. But if it works it works. An alternative would be cheezits. I have to say my belly liked those better...they do the same job and have a different flavor. And the cheese substance in it is softer, so when you throw up, it's a lot more coaxing. In the begining weeks water worked best for me, but we have a on-again off-again relationship. One day I love water, the next I hate it. Keep fluids in you though-even if you can't keep them down, keep drinking!!
They say to avoid citrus types of foods/drinks, and anything with a lot of acid, but around weeks 6-8 for me, I only wanted orange juice and tomato soup, and they worked great for me. One thing to remember is that everyone is different, so experiment.
Basically my food preferences change everyday. We have avoided any major food shopping trips, because we could buy a lot that sounds good, then the next day I wont touch any of it. So we buy as we go. I've learned that if something sounds tolerable, to jump on it and get it-chances our your brain is telling you what you need. Kraft Mac N Cheese and dry turkey breast sounded good to me for a week or so, and I lived on it. I only threw up once from the Mac and it really filled me up. I swear by the turkey, by the way! Just try it, something about it that soothes the tummy!
Another thing that many have told me to try, is ginger. I've tried ginger tablets, ginger altoids, and ginger gum-they all suck for me. But worth a shot. I haven't tried cookies, and I do love gingerbread cookies, so I'll give those a shot this Christmas time. =)
Also, avoid too hot or too cold of foods, that can irriate the stomach. Which is hard to do when I want a hot tea or a popsicle, so I use moderation...if I'm feeling well, I'll try something.
One thing that's really helped me is sitting up when I eat, it helps your stomach digest eveything better. Or try taking a walk after you eat. This can also help with constipation and gas...which since I've been pregnant have been some major issues for me. =(
I've found that pastas, which are my favorite foods, are harder to digest, and the worst to throw up, so I've avoided a lot of those.
I will probably post more later.
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